I Can't Date You Because You are ...."FAT"!

dislcaimer: this post may sound like the rantings of a fat ugly girl, jealous of those hot, crack whore skinny, blonde girls who dance on the bar at The Library, but if you know me, I am neither fat, nor ugly , not jealous, and it isn't ranting...I find those girls hot too...No this post is about my issues with my body image and is by no means meant to judge what others find attractive. Like me, everyone is allowed their opinion, and just because it is different than mine, I am okay with that...mmmmkay?

I was watching the news recently and there was actually a story about this dating service kicking members out for get this....wait for it...


Gaining weight.

Okay, before you say anything, I am all for having age, image, sexual preference rules on dating websites...I mean if I were single and using a dating service, I would want to make sure I was with a service that encouraged members of my similar "interests" to participate. I get that...it isn't that they have rules about weight that is bothering me either...no...the thing that has been bothering me since I watched the story is the woman, who called 3 on Your Side, or whatever could not have weighed more than a buck 25. She was very attractive, had a nice body, all of her teeth, was articulate, a catch for any single man. She goes on a date, the date tells the service the woman was fat, and bam, she is out of the club. WTF?

I sat there in an amused state that this is what is actually considered newsworthy these days...but the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me....asking the question, what is body image and who decides what is "perfect". And should it matter if you are healthy and are happy with the way you look??

For most sane people, the answer is a no brainer...but for me, the answer isn't as easy. And to be successful in my personal weight and health goals, I need to answer that very question.

I have never been "skinny" but I am by no means fat, by MY definition, and my decision to lose 40 pounds has more to do with health reasons than vanity. BUT, at the same time, I want to look good as a reward for all of my hard work, who wouldn't?

My husband and many of my close friends will tell you, and me, that I care too much what other people think of me. I base how I FEEL about myself on opinions that really don't mean crap. And they (you) are all right! I care way too much and have let people make me crazy chasing this image, that is a.) Unrealistic and b.) Unhealthy.

So here's the deal, and the answer to my question....I know I look good just the way I am right now. People love me for who I am not what I look like. Even better, the proof has been there for the last 16 years of my life. Through 2 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, 33 extra pounds since marriage...plastic surgery, and every diet I have tried and given up on...the man who has told me time and again, there is no one better than me when I feel good about myself...he is my husband and he finds me as sexy today as he did when we first met. He still flirts with me, sends me racy text messages, and tells me when I look great...and he NEVER let's me catch him checking out hot women unless I bring them to his attention...I love him for respecting me like that...I may be doing this for me and only me, but he will benefit from it too...wink wink...

Thank you to my friends and incredible family for helping me pull my head out of my butt...I have been listening to you for years, but now I finally HEAR you! And I am telling you all, the insanity stops now! Hold me to it! I will no longer allow people in my life to make me feel < than. What you see is what you get, and if it doesn’t “fit” your idea of “perfect”, that is you’re too bad. I will be one less amazing person in your life!

PS...for those of you who are dying to know the name of the dating service...here is the link www.beautifulpeople.com

i'm out....