Here are the last 25 questions:
26. Do you like someone? Of course... Toxic niceness is a disease I need the cure for. And while I like some people more than others I generally like everyone even if they don't deserve it...
27. The last song you listened to? Feeling Good by Nina Simone...it's my new theme song...
28. What time of day were you born? 2:30 pm
29. What’s your favorite number? 8
30. Where did you live in 1987? Scottsdale Arizona
31. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes...but only one person and the more I look at the situation and why I am jealous, I realize that I have no reason to be. I admire so many more.
32. Is anyone jealous of you? I'm sure there are. And I only say that because I have a pretty awesome life regardless of my current situation.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was in the shower getting ready for work when my husband came in to tell me a plane hit the Trade Centers where I had just been literally two weeks before. My son was watching bear in the big blue house when the news broke it. I remember watching the second plane hit and being on the phone with my mom on my way to work when the first tower crumbled. I still cannot forget how afraid I actually felt that day and the first time I had to fly afterwards. I cannot believe it has been 10 years.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? It pisses me off! Especially when my item gets stuck.. It's like the vending machine Gods are mocking me and saying "I dare you, try to get me" I have bruises on my hips to prove I do not take dares lightly.... EffinG machine...
35. Do you consider yourself kind? I do. Until I have good reason to be unkind, then watch the hell out!
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? On my hip bone...
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? French...I took it for 4 years in high school and loved it!
38. Would you move for the person you loved? Absolutely! I have lived in AZ my entire life and I would welcome a new place for adventure....
39. Are you touchy feely? Yes I am! I come from a long line of huggers and kissers! I'm pretty damn good at both...
40. What’s your life motto? Everything happens for a reason....it's trying to figure out the reason that gets me in trouble...
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? My phone, lipgloss, and debit card
42. What’s your favourite town/city? That's a tough one...I loved DC for the pure feeling of American history...but New York is also amazing...the vibe I felt the first time I was there was addicting. And Galway in Ireland will hold a place in my heart forever....
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Popcorn at the movies on Friday
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Two days ago...just haven't mailed it yet.
45. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes, but this is on my list "there are certain things in life worth paying someone else to do!" right along with moving, yard work, and coloring my hair.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? We are friends on Facebook, he wished me a happy birthday.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? We are in the process of doing our family ancestry...we can go back as far as two generations in Italy and one in Ireland.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? For my girlfriends 40th birthday...it was a weekend of fancy and I loved it! I wore a strapless black dress and sexy strapoy sandals on Friday and a black corset and jeans on Saturday... Not only did I look fancy, I felt awesome!
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My head and stomach...
50. Have you been burned by love? Yes. Im living it right now...Period...end of story...And I don't plan to add to the list anytime soon...I just can't...it hurts too much to even fathom it.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
50 random things....
So I have been blog blocked lately and while I really want to blog, I have little creativity to spare these days. My favorite blogger on the planet The Queen has once again provided me with inspiration...I loved this idea as it makes me think about me for once...
25 of 50 Random questions....
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Ugh....it's 5:00 in the morning...I look tired! I hope my new concealer was worth the $$...
2. How much cash do you have on you? Well, I just withdrew 1800.00 from my account to pay for the first months lease and deposits on my new house....typically I have 10-15 bucks for necessities like diet coke or iced coffee...
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Chore... As in my least favorite things to do!
4. Favorite planet? Saturn...always been mystified by the rings... I mean how did they get there? How come no other planets have them. Makes Saturn bad ass in my book...
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My friend Lowder whom I have known for 10 years and yet he still left his number on my voicemail....um hello...pretty sure I have it...
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Linkin Park...because I know it's my son calling
7. What shirt are you wearing? Black tank top...ready for bed!
8. Do you label yourself? Not really...but probably a control freak...it only took me 40 years to own it and all the crazy that causes!
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Not wearing shoes right now, but I was rocking my Michael Kors black peep toe pumps earlier
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright...Not a fan of dimmer switches my husband insists on having throughout our house...I'm all for romantic lighting when appropriate but I want to see the toilet seat before I sit down you know?
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I think she is the funniest most honest person I know
12. What does your watch look like? Square Silver Bulova with crystal bezel
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping...I had to be up at 4:30 for work...
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? From my high school friend Dawn: we have opposite kid weekends. How are they doing and how are you?
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Honestly no idea....I go to Valero or QT which are both a mile from my house
16. What's a word that you say a lot? listen....
17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My son when he I found out I was sick from dinner...right after he asked me if I needed anything....love him!
18. Last furry thing you touched? My legs right before I shaved them this morning...
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Thyroid meds, Advil, and tums....yea, I'm hardcore...does caffeine count?? Then add two vent iced skinny vanilla latte's
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? I have a bag with about 10 rolls...they are at least 10 years old...no idea what's on them. We switched to digital when our son was born.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 40 has been pretty amazing! I feel wise, beautiful in a way that has to do nothing with my appearance, and braver than I have ever thought possible. I surprise myself with my strength everyday!
22. Your worst enemy? My sisters don't call me the lead pipe mafia for nothing. I am my own worst nightmare and constantly kick my own ass. I don't need anymore enemies, I can barely handle myself. I'm currently working on loving myself so I don't need others to fill that human need. Once that happens, I will have no problem finding someone worthy of my awesomeness!
23. What is your current desktop picture? A painting by my new favorite artist Todd White.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "good night baby girl. Mommy loves you. God bless and sweet dreams!"
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? The cash...not a fan of flying....
25 of 50 Random questions....
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Ugh....it's 5:00 in the morning...I look tired! I hope my new concealer was worth the $$...
2. How much cash do you have on you? Well, I just withdrew 1800.00 from my account to pay for the first months lease and deposits on my new house....typically I have 10-15 bucks for necessities like diet coke or iced coffee...
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Chore... As in my least favorite things to do!
4. Favorite planet? Saturn...always been mystified by the rings... I mean how did they get there? How come no other planets have them. Makes Saturn bad ass in my book...
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My friend Lowder whom I have known for 10 years and yet he still left his number on my voicemail....um hello...pretty sure I have it...
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Linkin Park...because I know it's my son calling
7. What shirt are you wearing? Black tank top...ready for bed!
8. Do you label yourself? Not really...but probably a control freak...it only took me 40 years to own it and all the crazy that causes!
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Not wearing shoes right now, but I was rocking my Michael Kors black peep toe pumps earlier
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright...Not a fan of dimmer switches my husband insists on having throughout our house...I'm all for romantic lighting when appropriate but I want to see the toilet seat before I sit down you know?
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I think she is the funniest most honest person I know
12. What does your watch look like? Square Silver Bulova with crystal bezel
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping...I had to be up at 4:30 for work...
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? From my high school friend Dawn: we have opposite kid weekends. How are they doing and how are you?
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Honestly no idea....I go to Valero or QT which are both a mile from my house
16. What's a word that you say a lot? listen....
17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My son when he I found out I was sick from dinner...right after he asked me if I needed anything....love him!
18. Last furry thing you touched? My legs right before I shaved them this morning...
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Thyroid meds, Advil, and tums....yea, I'm hardcore...does caffeine count?? Then add two vent iced skinny vanilla latte's
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? I have a bag with about 10 rolls...they are at least 10 years old...no idea what's on them. We switched to digital when our son was born.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 40 has been pretty amazing! I feel wise, beautiful in a way that has to do nothing with my appearance, and braver than I have ever thought possible. I surprise myself with my strength everyday!
22. Your worst enemy? My sisters don't call me the lead pipe mafia for nothing. I am my own worst nightmare and constantly kick my own ass. I don't need anymore enemies, I can barely handle myself. I'm currently working on loving myself so I don't need others to fill that human need. Once that happens, I will have no problem finding someone worthy of my awesomeness!
23. What is your current desktop picture? A painting by my new favorite artist Todd White.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "good night baby girl. Mommy loves you. God bless and sweet dreams!"
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? The cash...not a fan of flying....
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Vacation!!!
Va·ca·tion (v
-k
sh
n)- according to Webster's Dictionary, is defined as a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. We take a vacation every summer. Our annual trip usually involves going to California. Sometimes it is just to Disneyland, just to the beach, or both. Every year, I spend weeks preparing to be off work for a week, arranging for someone to watch our dog and our house, making sure the kids have everything they need, etc...I spend so much time rushing around and stressing out that by the time we go on "vacation" I am exhausted and yes I will admit it, bitchy!
This has been a stressful year for me and I promised myself, my BFF, my sisters, my kids, and my therapist, that this year I was going to ENJOY vacation. Let things go...pray to God for patience and strength to deal with whiny tired kids and husband. Those of you that know me and my inability to sit still, relax, shut my mind off and just BE in the moment, know that asking me to actually devote time to pleasure, rest, and relaxation, is like asking Brittany Spears to stop wearing hair extensions...it ain't gonna happen.
But this year, this year I promised! I let go...I put my work cell phone down, let calls go to voicemail, and have LOVED and ENJOYED every smile, giggle, tear, and moment of this vacation! Making this vacation about my kids and their happiness has actually resulted in my absolute relaxation and joy!
My life will be there when I get back...
Who knew?
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This picture illustrates how simple it is to be a happy kid and how as adults, perhaps we need to "hug the ocean" more often!
-kshn)- according to Webster's Dictionary, is defined as a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. We take a vacation every summer. Our annual trip usually involves going to California. Sometimes it is just to Disneyland, just to the beach, or both. Every year, I spend weeks preparing to be off work for a week, arranging for someone to watch our dog and our house, making sure the kids have everything they need, etc...I spend so much time rushing around and stressing out that by the time we go on "vacation" I am exhausted and yes I will admit it, bitchy!This has been a stressful year for me and I promised myself, my BFF, my sisters, my kids, and my therapist, that this year I was going to ENJOY vacation. Let things go...pray to God for patience and strength to deal with whiny tired kids and husband. Those of you that know me and my inability to sit still, relax, shut my mind off and just BE in the moment, know that asking me to actually devote time to pleasure, rest, and relaxation, is like asking Brittany Spears to stop wearing hair extensions...it ain't gonna happen.
But this year, this year I promised! I let go...I put my work cell phone down, let calls go to voicemail, and have LOVED and ENJOYED every smile, giggle, tear, and moment of this vacation! Making this vacation about my kids and their happiness has actually resulted in my absolute relaxation and joy!
My life will be there when I get back...
Who knew?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
8 of my favorite things...
My BFF the Queen always has such great blog ideas so I'm totally stealing this from her. I haven't blogged in a while. Now that I am newly self diagnosed insomniac, I thought blogging would help clear my head so I can get more than 4 hours of continuous sleep....so here goes, 8 of my favorite things..why 8? Well, 8 has always been my lucky number, so it fits. Kind of like my shoe size in 5th grade! We can talk about my early growth spurt and the extreme body issues it caused me later..
It is hard to choose only 8 things as there are so many things I love. Hell, I could make a fortune reviewing all of the beauty products I have tried and loved! Anyhow, here goes, 8 of my favorite things:
1. The sound of my daughters laughter. Baby girl has the most infectious giggle on the planet! I remember the first time I heard it. I was putting lotion on her after her bath and I leaned down into her beautiful face and made a silly sound and she rewarded my silliness with the biggest belly giggle, and by reaching up and pulling my hair (ouch). Me, my son, and my husband spent the next 6 weeks making the face and the sound. If it was on video, Bob Saget would be handing me a $10,000 check!
2. Waking up to the sound of rain. Living in the desert, rain is a rare thing. Rain on a weekend when you don't have to get out of bed and go anywhere is a treat! Rain has an amazing affect on my mood. It may put some people in a funk, but it lifts my spirits in a way I cannot describe.
3. The smell of lilacs and orange blossoms. When I was little, my nana had lilac trees in the front of her house. The smell was incredible. To this day, the smell of lilac, if only in the form of an air freshener or a candle, brings me back to being 5 years old and outside playing in her yard and climbing her giant trees. She had the BEST climbing trees in her yard!! Lilacs do not grow in the desert, however, citrus trees are in abundance, and in the spring, they blossom. The smell is absolutely intoxicating, and they are like smelling salts to me. It only lasts for about two weeks in March/April and I look forward to it every year. Gold Canyon candles are the only thing that come close to recreating both scents albeit artificially, I still love the smell.
4. Reading . I've blogged before, my passion for reading. If I could, I would read all day long, every day of the week. Not sure why, but I do most of my reading from May-September. I will read close to 20 books in this 4 month period. I will sit on my patio or by the pool reading for hours. My mother instilled my love for books. It started the summer in between 4th and 5th grade where I read every Helen Keller book the library had to offer. What I now love is that my daughter LOVES to read too! I'm an awesome parent!
5. My electric mixer- Probably one of the best gifts my husband ever gave me. To say that I love to bake is like saying the Mona Lisa is just a piece of art. Baking is the one thing that truly makes me happy and relieves stress. I use my mixer more than I use any other appliance in my house! I love recipes that actually call for the use of an electric mixer. I've been called Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, etc. I love finding new recipes to wow my friends and family with. Baking is good for my soul....maybe not my ass, but there's always risk I guess. :)
6. Iced Skinny Vanilla Lattes: this one is a new addition to my favorite things list. More like an addiction. I have at least one an afternoon. Seeing that they are $5 a pop at Starbucks, I've had to start making my own! Note: I've been warned by my team that I am no longer allowed to have caffeine after Noon. I guess I'm a bit ab with too much caffeine...whoops..
7. The beach- every summer we take the kids to the beach in San Diego. I'm not sure why, but more than Disneyland and Sea World, I look forward to these trips just for the ocean. There is something so calming about sitting on the beach watching my kids play in the water and the sand, burying my son in the sand, digging ditches that get washed away as fast as you dig, and or building sand castles. My dream is to own a house on the beach when I retire so I can sit in the sand with a glass of wine and watch the sunset every night...well, maybe not wine every night...but you get my point.
8. Being 40...I know this is not a thing, but I love the feeling of being a strong 40 year old woman. It just feels powerful for reasons I cannot explain. I have learned so much from my last 3 decades, built a family, a career, a life, gained some friends, lost some friends..etc..... I am actually excited to see what my 4th decade on this planet holds for me. Having lost both of my parents in the last 5 years, makes want to enjoy every moment of my life! Which probably explains some of the decisions I have made this last year. And while I am currently in a transition period in my life, I know I can use the wisdom I have gained in the last 40 years (well 20 years because let's be honest, who learns anything about how to deal with life before they are 20?) to make smarter choices in my life to be happy.
There you have it...8 random things I love...
Next on the blog roll...
It is hard to choose only 8 things as there are so many things I love. Hell, I could make a fortune reviewing all of the beauty products I have tried and loved! Anyhow, here goes, 8 of my favorite things:
1. The sound of my daughters laughter. Baby girl has the most infectious giggle on the planet! I remember the first time I heard it. I was putting lotion on her after her bath and I leaned down into her beautiful face and made a silly sound and she rewarded my silliness with the biggest belly giggle, and by reaching up and pulling my hair (ouch). Me, my son, and my husband spent the next 6 weeks making the face and the sound. If it was on video, Bob Saget would be handing me a $10,000 check!
2. Waking up to the sound of rain. Living in the desert, rain is a rare thing. Rain on a weekend when you don't have to get out of bed and go anywhere is a treat! Rain has an amazing affect on my mood. It may put some people in a funk, but it lifts my spirits in a way I cannot describe.
3. The smell of lilacs and orange blossoms. When I was little, my nana had lilac trees in the front of her house. The smell was incredible. To this day, the smell of lilac, if only in the form of an air freshener or a candle, brings me back to being 5 years old and outside playing in her yard and climbing her giant trees. She had the BEST climbing trees in her yard!! Lilacs do not grow in the desert, however, citrus trees are in abundance, and in the spring, they blossom. The smell is absolutely intoxicating, and they are like smelling salts to me. It only lasts for about two weeks in March/April and I look forward to it every year. Gold Canyon candles are the only thing that come close to recreating both scents albeit artificially, I still love the smell.
4. Reading . I've blogged before, my passion for reading. If I could, I would read all day long, every day of the week. Not sure why, but I do most of my reading from May-September. I will read close to 20 books in this 4 month period. I will sit on my patio or by the pool reading for hours. My mother instilled my love for books. It started the summer in between 4th and 5th grade where I read every Helen Keller book the library had to offer. What I now love is that my daughter LOVES to read too! I'm an awesome parent!
5. My electric mixer- Probably one of the best gifts my husband ever gave me. To say that I love to bake is like saying the Mona Lisa is just a piece of art. Baking is the one thing that truly makes me happy and relieves stress. I use my mixer more than I use any other appliance in my house! I love recipes that actually call for the use of an electric mixer. I've been called Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, etc. I love finding new recipes to wow my friends and family with. Baking is good for my soul....maybe not my ass, but there's always risk I guess. :)
6. Iced Skinny Vanilla Lattes: this one is a new addition to my favorite things list. More like an addiction. I have at least one an afternoon. Seeing that they are $5 a pop at Starbucks, I've had to start making my own! Note: I've been warned by my team that I am no longer allowed to have caffeine after Noon. I guess I'm a bit ab with too much caffeine...whoops..
7. The beach- every summer we take the kids to the beach in San Diego. I'm not sure why, but more than Disneyland and Sea World, I look forward to these trips just for the ocean. There is something so calming about sitting on the beach watching my kids play in the water and the sand, burying my son in the sand, digging ditches that get washed away as fast as you dig, and or building sand castles. My dream is to own a house on the beach when I retire so I can sit in the sand with a glass of wine and watch the sunset every night...well, maybe not wine every night...but you get my point.
8. Being 40...I know this is not a thing, but I love the feeling of being a strong 40 year old woman. It just feels powerful for reasons I cannot explain. I have learned so much from my last 3 decades, built a family, a career, a life, gained some friends, lost some friends..etc..... I am actually excited to see what my 4th decade on this planet holds for me. Having lost both of my parents in the last 5 years, makes want to enjoy every moment of my life! Which probably explains some of the decisions I have made this last year. And while I am currently in a transition period in my life, I know I can use the wisdom I have gained in the last 40 years (well 20 years because let's be honest, who learns anything about how to deal with life before they are 20?) to make smarter choices in my life to be happy.
There you have it...8 random things I love...
Next on the blog roll...
- My breathtaking visit to the Grand Canyon and marking off an item from my bucket list
- The MRI experience tomorrow with my son who is going through testing for nervous ticks and to rule out Tourettes and anything neurological
- My day at the water park (SunSplash) with my son and my two nephews post MRI...( #9...I LOVE the waterpark and am sooo excited to be "cool" mom and aunt Andrea all day!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Someday....
Are you one of those people who needs to know why things happen? To have complete control over a situation or it drives you nuts? Constantly question why? Are impatient to know what your future holds when you know what you want it to hold? Or worse, wonder why "bad" things happen to you or others?
No? Well you are one lucky SOB! One of my biggest challenges in life is to question everything! I want to know exactly what is going to happen and when I don't get my answers I do the worst...I THINK the worst! My closest friend calls me a leaper! And it is true! My mind just has a "mind" of its own if you will!
Lately I have been trying to let go. Stop worring about pleasing everyone or trying to control the future...calming my mind and just letting things happen as they will and being okay if they don't turn out the way I hope.
So I'm baby stepping my way through this new philosophy and BAM, my BFF the Queen sends me the most amazing note that says it all. She got it from a fellow awesome blogger The Fat Chick and I absolutley loved it so I am stealing and sharing it with you all. It is so simple it is complicated... :)
"Someday you will understand, you really will. Someday you will understand why you had to learn things the way you had to learn them. Why you have certain people in your life. Why things had to be so hard sometimes. Someday you will understand the way things fell together. The way you were rescued from catastrophes in funny and miraculous little ways. Someday you will understand how you were never, ever alone. Even though you felt alone so many days. Someday you will understand how you were led to the exact place you were meant to be, through crazy twists and turns in the road that you weren't expecting. Be patient with the journey. You may feel completely perplexed, confused and even a little lost. Just keep going. Keep smiling. Keep being you. And someday, you will look to the sky and laugh at how perfectly things happened. And that is when you will understand that it all happened exactly the way it was supposed to, just for you."
WOW! Awesome! If I keep telling myself this, my future will be amazing, even it if isn't how I "planned" it to be. And one day, I will have the answer. Even if it isn't the answer I want, I will have the wisdom to understand it. Ya know?
No? Well you are one lucky SOB! One of my biggest challenges in life is to question everything! I want to know exactly what is going to happen and when I don't get my answers I do the worst...I THINK the worst! My closest friend calls me a leaper! And it is true! My mind just has a "mind" of its own if you will!
Lately I have been trying to let go. Stop worring about pleasing everyone or trying to control the future...calming my mind and just letting things happen as they will and being okay if they don't turn out the way I hope.
So I'm baby stepping my way through this new philosophy and BAM, my BFF the Queen sends me the most amazing note that says it all. She got it from a fellow awesome blogger The Fat Chick and I absolutley loved it so I am stealing and sharing it with you all. It is so simple it is complicated... :)
"Someday you will understand, you really will. Someday you will understand why you had to learn things the way you had to learn them. Why you have certain people in your life. Why things had to be so hard sometimes. Someday you will understand the way things fell together. The way you were rescued from catastrophes in funny and miraculous little ways. Someday you will understand how you were never, ever alone. Even though you felt alone so many days. Someday you will understand how you were led to the exact place you were meant to be, through crazy twists and turns in the road that you weren't expecting. Be patient with the journey. You may feel completely perplexed, confused and even a little lost. Just keep going. Keep smiling. Keep being you. And someday, you will look to the sky and laugh at how perfectly things happened. And that is when you will understand that it all happened exactly the way it was supposed to, just for you."
WOW! Awesome! If I keep telling myself this, my future will be amazing, even it if isn't how I "planned" it to be. And one day, I will have the answer. Even if it isn't the answer I want, I will have the wisdom to understand it. Ya know?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day...
For the last 5 years, I have dreaded this "holiday"...I walk right past the ginormous display of Mother's Day cards and immediately delete the emails reminding me that Mother's Day is MayXX and links to finding the perfect Mother's Day gift...
This is my mom....wasn't she beautiful? She was 20 years old in this picture...People say I look very much like her in this picture.
My mom passed away almost 6 years ago and I STILL cry every time I see the perfect Mother's Day card. I miss her EVERY day. I need her more today than I did 6 years ago, and I needed her A LOT back then. I want to call her up and hear her voice. I want my daughter to meet her and know who she is instead of me telling her "that's mommy's mommy", in pictures. I want to talk to her about what is going on with my son. I want her to hold me while I cry from a broken heart or feeling like a failure. I want to hear her say, you are stronger than you know it Andrea. Get your head out of your ass and move forward! You won't fail.
While our relationship wasn't always perfect as I was a pain in the ass know it all teenage girl, we became best friends in my early 20's. As I grew up, I began to understand why she pushed me so hard. She saw my potential. She never realized her dreams in life and she was damned if she was going to let me repeat what she viewed as her "failures"...She was hard on me. Harder on me than my sisters. Growing up, I resented her for it...being a mother of a little girl, I THANK her for it. She made me who I am today. Confident, beautiful, kind, funny, sarcastic as hell, successful.....
We can't pick our parents, but I know in my heart I would pick my mom. She was strong, funny, big hearted, and gave me the gift of 6 amazing sisters and 1 brother, taught us all the value of family. I know I wouldn't be who I am without her.
I love you and miss you so very much mom. Thank you for all the blessings you gave me in life!
Happy Mother's Day mom!
This is my mom....wasn't she beautiful? She was 20 years old in this picture...People say I look very much like her in this picture.
My mom passed away almost 6 years ago and I STILL cry every time I see the perfect Mother's Day card. I miss her EVERY day. I need her more today than I did 6 years ago, and I needed her A LOT back then. I want to call her up and hear her voice. I want my daughter to meet her and know who she is instead of me telling her "that's mommy's mommy", in pictures. I want to talk to her about what is going on with my son. I want her to hold me while I cry from a broken heart or feeling like a failure. I want to hear her say, you are stronger than you know it Andrea. Get your head out of your ass and move forward! You won't fail.
While our relationship wasn't always perfect as I was a pain in the ass know it all teenage girl, we became best friends in my early 20's. As I grew up, I began to understand why she pushed me so hard. She saw my potential. She never realized her dreams in life and she was damned if she was going to let me repeat what she viewed as her "failures"...She was hard on me. Harder on me than my sisters. Growing up, I resented her for it...being a mother of a little girl, I THANK her for it. She made me who I am today. Confident, beautiful, kind, funny, sarcastic as hell, successful.....
We can't pick our parents, but I know in my heart I would pick my mom. She was strong, funny, big hearted, and gave me the gift of 6 amazing sisters and 1 brother, taught us all the value of family. I know I wouldn't be who I am without her.
I love you and miss you so very much mom. Thank you for all the blessings you gave me in life!
Happy Mother's Day mom!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Vegetarian vs. Vegan
I had my monthly visit to my natural path today. They have been treating my thyroid condition for about a year which my general physician was under treating! I truly believe that finding naturalpathic medicine has changed my life this last year. They focus on the ENTIRE person and treat the root cause of your problem, not just the symptoms. So, I have to get my blood tested every month to ensure my thyroid levels are staying normal. When they aren't normal, I get to have all kinds of fun dealing with hair thinning/loss, extreme weight gain/loss, exhaustion, and inability to focus.
Well, turns out, they have FINALLY been able to normalize my thyroid levels..yeah!!! , but my genetically high cholesterol has him concerned. With my family history of heart disease, diabetes, and atherosclerosis or hardening of the arteries, he wants to work with me on a lifestyle change nutrition plan. I'm excited to have an entire two hour session dedicated to making me healthy!
He told me to do my research on which plan I want to explore. He gave me three options:
1. Vegetarian- no meat
2. No carb/sugar/oil diet
3. Vegan- no animal products, by products or oil
REALLY????????? Not great options! I don't see Weight Watchers anywhere on this list! I know I could be okay without eating carbs, sugar and meat, but I draw the line at no fish, eggs, yogurt, and peanut butter!
So I'm going to do my research on all three options to see just how much "modification" I can withstand so I can live a healthy life for the next 40+ years!
Stay tuned on my decision...tonight, while doing my research I'm going to have sushi and beer and hope I don't have a heart attack. LOL!
Well, turns out, they have FINALLY been able to normalize my thyroid levels..yeah!!! , but my genetically high cholesterol has him concerned. With my family history of heart disease, diabetes, and atherosclerosis or hardening of the arteries, he wants to work with me on a lifestyle change nutrition plan. I'm excited to have an entire two hour session dedicated to making me healthy!
He told me to do my research on which plan I want to explore. He gave me three options:
1. Vegetarian- no meat
2. No carb/sugar/oil diet
3. Vegan- no animal products, by products or oil
REALLY????????? Not great options! I don't see Weight Watchers anywhere on this list! I know I could be okay without eating carbs, sugar and meat, but I draw the line at no fish, eggs, yogurt, and peanut butter!
So I'm going to do my research on all three options to see just how much "modification" I can withstand so I can live a healthy life for the next 40+ years!
Stay tuned on my decision...tonight, while doing my research I'm going to have sushi and beer and hope I don't have a heart attack. LOL!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
There are benefits to a mammogram other than early cancer detection...who knew?
I used to say...OMG, I'm going to be 30!...my 30's turned out to be my favorite decade. After turning 30, I realized I wasn't a fan of my 20's...I used to say OMG I'm going to be 40!...and while age really never bothered me, because I never looked or felt my true age, 40 seemed a bit intimidating to me...but, I have to tell you, I LOVE being 40! 40 feels sexy! I'm coming into myself. I feel good...actually, I feel GREAT!
One of the beautiful things about turning 40 is that, as a woman, you get to add a whole bunch of tests to your "to do" list every year from now until you kick it...PAP smear, bone density, colonoscopy, mammogram...I asked my OBGYN what men get when they turn 40, he laughs and says...grumpy! I love my OBGYN, don't care that its a man...
However, I went for my mammogram today. I was told to wear no deodorant, body lotion, or perfume. They take me back to the room and tell me to take my shirt and bra off and put on one of those paper robes that doesn't cover ANYTHING, and my technician will be right in. I'm standing there sweating and hoping that my body doesn't betray me without deodorant, because ick...who wants to stink knowing that someone is going to be up in your business for 30 minutes? that's just gross...anyhoo...I'm standing there in all my glory waiting for my GIRL to come in when the door opens and man walks in. I'm thinking "oh Jesus, please tell me you are just here to check on me and that you are NOT the one who is performing this test!"..No such luck...Cutie boy starts telling me what to expect from the procedure...etc...I'm not listening...My face is flushed and I'm getting even more nervous, triggering an unusual sweating reaction. I do not sweat a lot unless I'm working out, but I'm really praying to the gods of mercy that I don't smell when this man comes up next to me and asks me to open my robe!
So he does the drill of smashing my boob between the cold metal plates and taking 50 different xrays of EACH side... very professional, asking questions about when I had my implants are they over or under the muscle...to which I respond, "dude, you have the xray machine, you need me to tell YOU if they are under the muscle?"...He is making jokes to relax me...again, wasn't listening...was just hoping this would be over quickly so I could put my cute outfit back on and get the hell out of there before he figures out how adorable I think he is! I should note that he is only one of the several men who actually get licensed to do this. Go figure!
After 35 minutes, we were done...After I finally stopped blushing and sweating, I decided, having a cute male technician perform your mammogram is just another benefit of being 40! :)
One of the beautiful things about turning 40 is that, as a woman, you get to add a whole bunch of tests to your "to do" list every year from now until you kick it...PAP smear, bone density, colonoscopy, mammogram...I asked my OBGYN what men get when they turn 40, he laughs and says...grumpy! I love my OBGYN, don't care that its a man...
However, I went for my mammogram today. I was told to wear no deodorant, body lotion, or perfume. They take me back to the room and tell me to take my shirt and bra off and put on one of those paper robes that doesn't cover ANYTHING, and my technician will be right in. I'm standing there sweating and hoping that my body doesn't betray me without deodorant, because ick...who wants to stink knowing that someone is going to be up in your business for 30 minutes? that's just gross...anyhoo...I'm standing there in all my glory waiting for my GIRL to come in when the door opens and man walks in. I'm thinking "oh Jesus, please tell me you are just here to check on me and that you are NOT the one who is performing this test!"..No such luck...Cutie boy starts telling me what to expect from the procedure...etc...I'm not listening...My face is flushed and I'm getting even more nervous, triggering an unusual sweating reaction. I do not sweat a lot unless I'm working out, but I'm really praying to the gods of mercy that I don't smell when this man comes up next to me and asks me to open my robe!
So he does the drill of smashing my boob between the cold metal plates and taking 50 different xrays of EACH side... very professional, asking questions about when I had my implants are they over or under the muscle...to which I respond, "dude, you have the xray machine, you need me to tell YOU if they are under the muscle?"...He is making jokes to relax me...again, wasn't listening...was just hoping this would be over quickly so I could put my cute outfit back on and get the hell out of there before he figures out how adorable I think he is! I should note that he is only one of the several men who actually get licensed to do this. Go figure!
After 35 minutes, we were done...After I finally stopped blushing and sweating, I decided, having a cute male technician perform your mammogram is just another benefit of being 40! :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hello gorgeous!!
Have you ever lost something important but did not realize how much you valued it until you found it again? You never even knew it was missing until it turned up unexpectedly one day and the feeling of absolute joy took over? You immediately missed it and swore to never again let it out of your sight?
That is what happened when I looked in the mirror today. I was getting ready for work, running VERY late, knowing I had no coffee in my apartment, bitching myself out for getting home way too late and not getting enough sleep…, but it was one of those days that my hair came out exactly the way I love it. My face is flawless and breakout free… my eyes were sparkling, I was rocking my new smaller dress size, my legs looked hot in my new Bandolino shoes…all the good things. No flaws, for this lead pipe queen to beat herself up over…Then something incredible happened…As I was surveying my appearance in the mirror, I saw a person I used to know and love. Myself.
I have gone through some serious shit lately, stuff that makes you evaluate who you are and what you want out of your life. I’ve driven my family, friends and myself nuts with my constant sadness. I have done some serious soul searching looking for answers to questions that have no solution (and for anyone who knows me, you know that my Type A personality needs answers!)…wondering when this period of sadness would end…when would I find myself again? Would I EVER find me again?
Well today is the first day I have seen the confident, funny, intelligent, sexy girl I used to know and love. I don’t even know how long she’s been gone. But guess what, it feels so good, to have her back; I’m putting her in a lock box so I never lose her again.
Thank you God, not necessarily for providing me with answers to my questions, but the path and the people to finding my way out of darkness. Thank you for helping me find myself. Amen!
That is what happened when I looked in the mirror today. I was getting ready for work, running VERY late, knowing I had no coffee in my apartment, bitching myself out for getting home way too late and not getting enough sleep…, but it was one of those days that my hair came out exactly the way I love it. My face is flawless and breakout free… my eyes were sparkling, I was rocking my new smaller dress size, my legs looked hot in my new Bandolino shoes…all the good things. No flaws, for this lead pipe queen to beat herself up over…Then something incredible happened…As I was surveying my appearance in the mirror, I saw a person I used to know and love. Myself.
I have gone through some serious shit lately, stuff that makes you evaluate who you are and what you want out of your life. I’ve driven my family, friends and myself nuts with my constant sadness. I have done some serious soul searching looking for answers to questions that have no solution (and for anyone who knows me, you know that my Type A personality needs answers!)…wondering when this period of sadness would end…when would I find myself again? Would I EVER find me again?
Well today is the first day I have seen the confident, funny, intelligent, sexy girl I used to know and love. I don’t even know how long she’s been gone. But guess what, it feels so good, to have her back; I’m putting her in a lock box so I never lose her again.
Thank you God, not necessarily for providing me with answers to my questions, but the path and the people to finding my way out of darkness. Thank you for helping me find myself. Amen!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Some day...
Yes, I realize i have sucked at blogging the last few months. It isn't that I haven't wanted to put my thoughts down on "paper" or share with everyone. It's more like I can't pick just ONE thing to share. There is so much going on in my life right now, I can't focus. My head is like one of those spinners that comes in a children's game...however this spinner NEVER lands on a number telling me what to do next. ya know? It's getting worse with age too!
Anyhoo...I have a friend. A man I have known for so many years, I don't remember not knowing him. We met when we were 11 and in 5th grade. He lived down the street from me. We hung out together a lot. He was there for my first kiss...well, he was standing outside of the tree house at Fernando Zerrate's house when I had my first kiss. We hung out with the same group of people all through middle school, and most of high school. He is the reason my 8th grade boyfriend broke up with me (long story)...He was the guy that wanted to date me and I wanted to date him, but it was never the right time, it was always some day...He is the guy that I lost touch with for over 10 years and reconnected with while planning our 20 year reunion. When we started talking, it was as if no time had passed at all.
Have you ever met someone that knows EVERYONE? Who is ALWAYS positive and smiling? NEVER has a bad word to say about ANYBODY? And not in a smarmy used car salesman way? Well, I have, it's this guy. He is amazing. You can be having the biggest crisis of your life and he will make you forget the reason you were upset. He is a cup filler like nobodies business. And he isn't full of shit. He is genuinely decent. Not an easy thing to find in people these days.
He has helped me through some tough things lately. Without judging or giving advice, he just listens and fills my cup. Gives me faith in people and life.
Here is the kicker. He is busy filling everyone's cup and he himself has cancer. He has survived pancreatic cancer twice in the last 8 years. I have no doubt it is due to his positive attitude and "bring it" attitude. 8 years longer than they gave him during his first diagnosis. He is a walking miracle. Well, 2 years ago, he got the news the cancer was back. Two days ago, I got an email from him telling me that the cancer has spread, aggressively. He has stopped treatments. He is tired and doesn't want to fight anymore. I'm reeling. It's always the good ones. LIFE IS SHORT!
I had coffee with him yesterday and talked for over two hours. Within 20 minutes, I forgot all of the shit going on in my life, and spent time enjoying my lifelong friend, who, of all things, isn't hurting from the cancer, but a broken heart (another long and personal story).
God puts people in your life at certain times. He put this man in my life this week because I am in the process of grieving a marriage and a friendship of 10 years with someone I thought I knew. He put this man in my life this week to make me see that LIFE IS SHORT! Don't waste your time on selfish people who, when you need them the most, bail without a thought or care about you.
He put this man in my life this week to fill my cup which has been empty way too long as the result of filling everybody but my own cup.
And I'll tell you what, if its done anything besides fill me up with grief at the thought that this man is going to die, it has redirected my focus, on my life, my friendships, and my family.
Thank you God for putting this man in my life almost 30 years ago, and again when we needed each other most.
Anyhoo...I have a friend. A man I have known for so many years, I don't remember not knowing him. We met when we were 11 and in 5th grade. He lived down the street from me. We hung out together a lot. He was there for my first kiss...well, he was standing outside of the tree house at Fernando Zerrate's house when I had my first kiss. We hung out with the same group of people all through middle school, and most of high school. He is the reason my 8th grade boyfriend broke up with me (long story)...He was the guy that wanted to date me and I wanted to date him, but it was never the right time, it was always some day...He is the guy that I lost touch with for over 10 years and reconnected with while planning our 20 year reunion. When we started talking, it was as if no time had passed at all.
Have you ever met someone that knows EVERYONE? Who is ALWAYS positive and smiling? NEVER has a bad word to say about ANYBODY? And not in a smarmy used car salesman way? Well, I have, it's this guy. He is amazing. You can be having the biggest crisis of your life and he will make you forget the reason you were upset. He is a cup filler like nobodies business. And he isn't full of shit. He is genuinely decent. Not an easy thing to find in people these days.
He has helped me through some tough things lately. Without judging or giving advice, he just listens and fills my cup. Gives me faith in people and life.
Here is the kicker. He is busy filling everyone's cup and he himself has cancer. He has survived pancreatic cancer twice in the last 8 years. I have no doubt it is due to his positive attitude and "bring it" attitude. 8 years longer than they gave him during his first diagnosis. He is a walking miracle. Well, 2 years ago, he got the news the cancer was back. Two days ago, I got an email from him telling me that the cancer has spread, aggressively. He has stopped treatments. He is tired and doesn't want to fight anymore. I'm reeling. It's always the good ones. LIFE IS SHORT!
I had coffee with him yesterday and talked for over two hours. Within 20 minutes, I forgot all of the shit going on in my life, and spent time enjoying my lifelong friend, who, of all things, isn't hurting from the cancer, but a broken heart (another long and personal story).
God puts people in your life at certain times. He put this man in my life this week because I am in the process of grieving a marriage and a friendship of 10 years with someone I thought I knew. He put this man in my life this week to make me see that LIFE IS SHORT! Don't waste your time on selfish people who, when you need them the most, bail without a thought or care about you.
He put this man in my life this week to fill my cup which has been empty way too long as the result of filling everybody but my own cup.
And I'll tell you what, if its done anything besides fill me up with grief at the thought that this man is going to die, it has redirected my focus, on my life, my friendships, and my family.
Thank you God for putting this man in my life almost 30 years ago, and again when we needed each other most.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The kindness of strangers...
Today I went to Costco with my two kids. Now, I would rather take a hot poker in my eye than brave Costco on a weekend! People are rude, unaware of anyone but themselves, and deadly with their shopping carts. (See scar on the back of my heel some psycho caused by running into me at 30mph...didn't even stop to apologize as I stood there gushing blood!)
Anyway, I bought a new 37 inch TV today (see why in a later post). I had to get a flatbed cart for the TV and a normal cart for all of the other stuff I needed...I was pushing the normal cart with my daughter in it and my 11 year old son was pushing the flatcart. You can imagine how much fun we had trying to maneuver TWO carts through the place, which was packed; I was a hot mess!!! How can old people be so damn mean to kids in public? Then out of nowhere...kindness of strangers...
The TV box wasn't that heavy, but some nice guy saw me there with my two kids and my two carts and generously helped me lift it onto my cart without me even having to ask! Certainly not something I expected at Costco of all places, but was more than grateful for! Then in the parking lot,, a really nice couple offered to help me load it into my car....fast forward to me pulling into my driveway when my awesome neighbor offered to help me get it in the house.
The simple fact that 3 people offered to help me without having to ask just made my day! I'll pay it forward, I promise!
Anyway, I bought a new 37 inch TV today (see why in a later post). I had to get a flatbed cart for the TV and a normal cart for all of the other stuff I needed...I was pushing the normal cart with my daughter in it and my 11 year old son was pushing the flatcart. You can imagine how much fun we had trying to maneuver TWO carts through the place, which was packed; I was a hot mess!!! How can old people be so damn mean to kids in public? Then out of nowhere...kindness of strangers...
The TV box wasn't that heavy, but some nice guy saw me there with my two kids and my two carts and generously helped me lift it onto my cart without me even having to ask! Certainly not something I expected at Costco of all places, but was more than grateful for! Then in the parking lot,, a really nice couple offered to help me load it into my car....fast forward to me pulling into my driveway when my awesome neighbor offered to help me get it in the house.
The simple fact that 3 people offered to help me without having to ask just made my day! I'll pay it forward, I promise!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
I can't open my F*ck*ng car door!
Technology is incredible isn't it? It has taken us to the moon, cured diseases, put us in constant contact with family, friends, and the world in general...what it has also done is make us a little lazy... Lulled us into relying on devices to solve problems as opposed to using good old common sense...
Point? What was my point? Ah yes, my car remote... Sorry, a bit ADHD today! I bought my first car when I was 20 years old. It was red, brand new, beautiful and ALL mine! I didn't care that my left arm was stronger than my right having to ...gasp... Roll the windows down manually, or that I actually had to insert the key into the lock to open the door.
Somewhere along the way, the Japanese geniuses thought "how cool would it be if you could unlock your car before you actually got to the door?" pretty damn cool! Enter the keyless remote entry technology that every new car manufactured since the late 90's comes equipped with.
I was so excited the first time I had a car with one. I felt I had made it..I was cool...see me and my new car that I can lock and unlock with this neat key fob....woo hoo...but the excitement wore off somewhere after the 2nd and 3rd cars I bought came with keyless entry..
Well, like all things in life you take for granted when the newness wears off, they have a way of slapping you upside the head to remind you that you are a dumb ass!
What the hell do you do when the fob stops working? It honestly takes you a few LONG minutes to realize that the good old "stick the key in the lock and turn" methodology works!
Not embarrassed to admit that this dumb ass did just that the other day when my remote stopped working... My car just would not open no matter how many times I pressed the remote...which by the way was a lot! I honestly stood there dumbfounded thinking How the eff am I going to get home if I can't open the door? OMFG!really?? Quite a humbling experience...
That and the fact that when I did break the seal and use the key to open my door, I discovered that the jerks at Honda made it so the key sets off the alarm and the car won't start until you push a button to disable the alarm...a little nugget that I didn't learn until this morning when I came to get the magic fob fixed...Apparently there was a "notice" that went out..a notice I never received... A notice that would have saved me the embarrassment of having my boss, who parks behind me, walk out and hear my alarm going off and me cussing up a storm...do you know how loud a car alarm is in a parking garage??? And how many cuss words I know? It was awesome!!
Yes...technology is wonderful...But the good old fashioned manual use of your brain should never be taken for granted!
Point? What was my point? Ah yes, my car remote... Sorry, a bit ADHD today! I bought my first car when I was 20 years old. It was red, brand new, beautiful and ALL mine! I didn't care that my left arm was stronger than my right having to ...gasp... Roll the windows down manually, or that I actually had to insert the key into the lock to open the door.
Somewhere along the way, the Japanese geniuses thought "how cool would it be if you could unlock your car before you actually got to the door?" pretty damn cool! Enter the keyless remote entry technology that every new car manufactured since the late 90's comes equipped with.
I was so excited the first time I had a car with one. I felt I had made it..I was cool...see me and my new car that I can lock and unlock with this neat key fob....woo hoo...but the excitement wore off somewhere after the 2nd and 3rd cars I bought came with keyless entry..
Well, like all things in life you take for granted when the newness wears off, they have a way of slapping you upside the head to remind you that you are a dumb ass!
What the hell do you do when the fob stops working? It honestly takes you a few LONG minutes to realize that the good old "stick the key in the lock and turn" methodology works!
Not embarrassed to admit that this dumb ass did just that the other day when my remote stopped working... My car just would not open no matter how many times I pressed the remote...which by the way was a lot! I honestly stood there dumbfounded thinking How the eff am I going to get home if I can't open the door? OMFG!really?? Quite a humbling experience...
That and the fact that when I did break the seal and use the key to open my door, I discovered that the jerks at Honda made it so the key sets off the alarm and the car won't start until you push a button to disable the alarm...a little nugget that I didn't learn until this morning when I came to get the magic fob fixed...Apparently there was a "notice" that went out..a notice I never received... A notice that would have saved me the embarrassment of having my boss, who parks behind me, walk out and hear my alarm going off and me cussing up a storm...do you know how loud a car alarm is in a parking garage??? And how many cuss words I know? It was awesome!!
Yes...technology is wonderful...But the good old fashioned manual use of your brain should never be taken for granted!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Filter? What the hell is it and how do I get one?
Seriously! I have a chronic disease. In layman's terms it is called diarrhea of the mouth. By definition it means spewing forth every thought and feeling in your head without hesitation resulting in complete embarrassment, regret, and hurt feelings.
The root cause is that I feel EVERYTHING! And because I feel everything, my mind is constantly running. I cannot shut it off no matter how hard I try. There is no magic pill and while age has helped, it hasn't cured it by any means. Mix that with my direct, strong personality and you have the perfect storm.
I am a nice person. I care about everyone (some more than I should). I want people to feel good. I feel joy when people share exciting news. I feel pain for people who are suffering. I cry when I watch infomercials for St. Jude's Children's hospital. The problem is, without a filter, sometimes I over share my feelings and those feelings don't always come across the way I want them to.
I don't want to stop feeling. I don't want to stop caring, or sharing my thoughts. But I need a filter...
I'm disappointed that modern medicine has come up with a little blue pill to make an erection last for 4 hours, but has no fucking idea how to create a pill to stop this disease...
I'm thinking if I were a scientist and wanted to impress the shit out of the world, I would spend my life working on those medications..
The root cause is that I feel EVERYTHING! And because I feel everything, my mind is constantly running. I cannot shut it off no matter how hard I try. There is no magic pill and while age has helped, it hasn't cured it by any means. Mix that with my direct, strong personality and you have the perfect storm.
I am a nice person. I care about everyone (some more than I should). I want people to feel good. I feel joy when people share exciting news. I feel pain for people who are suffering. I cry when I watch infomercials for St. Jude's Children's hospital. The problem is, without a filter, sometimes I over share my feelings and those feelings don't always come across the way I want them to.
I don't want to stop feeling. I don't want to stop caring, or sharing my thoughts. But I need a filter...
I'm disappointed that modern medicine has come up with a little blue pill to make an erection last for 4 hours, but has no fucking idea how to create a pill to stop this disease...
I'm thinking if I were a scientist and wanted to impress the shit out of the world, I would spend my life working on those medications..
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Getting in Touch with your Inner Bitch
So my BFF bought me one of those "page a day" calendars. A GREAT one at that! It is titled appropriately for me...Getting in Touch with your Inner Bitch. This little gem has me looking forward to coming into the office every day to see what the daily advice is. Thought I would share a couple of my favorites with you!
Enjoy!
1. Taking Care of Business, Inner Bitch Style: Create a file where you can record your accomplishments this year. Name it "Yeah, I Rock!"
2. An Inner Bitch Relationship Tip: Remember that Prince Charming is a fairy tale creation. This does not mean you have to settle for a man who does not know you are Queen!
3. "What am I thinking?" beats "What was I thinking?" any day of the week!
4. Today is : "Make Plans with our Best Friends Day." Your Inner Bitch wants you to do it now, while your new calendar is relatively clear
5. "A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they dont' get what they want" -Madonna
6. This weekend, if the choice is doing laundry or having some fun, your Inner Bitch wants you to choose wisely- the laundry can wait.
7. Your Inner Bitch wants you to make time for beauty today- listen to a favorite song, read a poem you love, buy a single blossom, because you deserve it!
8. An Inner Bitch Romance Tip: "Never run after a bus or a man- there will always be another one."
9. On today in history, Amelia Earhart was the first person to fly across the Atlantic, and that bitch didn't even have GPS.!
Like I said, I love this calendar....!
Yikes....looking at that countdown over there and getting excited that my b-day is only 3 days away!!!!!
Reward update:....so I scrapped the shoes and purchased this amazing bag!!!! I love it so much I want to use it as my pillow every night. I feel amazing just carrying it around! Yes, it was the most ridiculously expensive thing I have ever purchased and am ashamed at all the things I could have done with the money instead. But when I think of the journey I have been on this last year, losing 30 pounds, a parent, my mind...I realized for the very first time in my life, I actually earned every beautiful piece of that bag! and I paid cash for it!
Woo hoo!
Enjoy!
1. Taking Care of Business, Inner Bitch Style: Create a file where you can record your accomplishments this year. Name it "Yeah, I Rock!"
2. An Inner Bitch Relationship Tip: Remember that Prince Charming is a fairy tale creation. This does not mean you have to settle for a man who does not know you are Queen!
3. "What am I thinking?" beats "What was I thinking?" any day of the week!
4. Today is : "Make Plans with our Best Friends Day." Your Inner Bitch wants you to do it now, while your new calendar is relatively clear
5. "A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they dont' get what they want" -Madonna
6. This weekend, if the choice is doing laundry or having some fun, your Inner Bitch wants you to choose wisely- the laundry can wait.
7. Your Inner Bitch wants you to make time for beauty today- listen to a favorite song, read a poem you love, buy a single blossom, because you deserve it!
8. An Inner Bitch Romance Tip: "Never run after a bus or a man- there will always be another one."
9. On today in history, Amelia Earhart was the first person to fly across the Atlantic, and that bitch didn't even have GPS.!
Like I said, I love this calendar....!
Yikes....looking at that countdown over there and getting excited that my b-day is only 3 days away!!!!!
Reward update:....so I scrapped the shoes and purchased this amazing bag!!!! I love it so much I want to use it as my pillow every night. I feel amazing just carrying it around! Yes, it was the most ridiculously expensive thing I have ever purchased and am ashamed at all the things I could have done with the money instead. But when I think of the journey I have been on this last year, losing 30 pounds, a parent, my mind...I realized for the very first time in my life, I actually earned every beautiful piece of that bag! and I paid cash for it!
Woo hoo!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
It is what it is..
Do you have a phrase that just bugs the crap out of you? My BFF hates the over use of LOL, LMAO, and any other term that hides the way people are actually feeling. I can see her point. Generally, there aren't many things that people say that bother me...until now...
The term "it is what it is" is not a phrase of acceptance, rather one of defeat. I am guilty of using this term myself. I use it when I am weak and have nothing better to say about the current situation. War: it is what it is. Death: it is what it is. Money: it is what it is. Love it is what it is...you get the point.
I'm not sure why this term has all of a sudden started to rub me the wrong way. Perhaps because my expectations of people have changed lately. Maybe I'm ultra sensitive lately, or maybe I just can't stand when I ask the question Why?, to save me from the true answer to the question, somebody throws out the term..it is what it is..
Well, what it is SUCKS! It means there is nothing you can do about it, so accept it and move on. But what if there is something I can do about it? huh? What if there is something I WANT to do about it?
I will no longer accept the fact that it is what it is should mean something. I'm going to at least try to change things that are in my control and let go of the things that aren't....kind of like eating the ice cream in my freezer...totally out of my control to ignore it... and that is what it is! LOL! LMAO! ROFL! smootch Queen... :)
Thoughts to ponder today...
The term "it is what it is" is not a phrase of acceptance, rather one of defeat. I am guilty of using this term myself. I use it when I am weak and have nothing better to say about the current situation. War: it is what it is. Death: it is what it is. Money: it is what it is. Love it is what it is...you get the point.
I'm not sure why this term has all of a sudden started to rub me the wrong way. Perhaps because my expectations of people have changed lately. Maybe I'm ultra sensitive lately, or maybe I just can't stand when I ask the question Why?, to save me from the true answer to the question, somebody throws out the term..it is what it is..
Well, what it is SUCKS! It means there is nothing you can do about it, so accept it and move on. But what if there is something I can do about it? huh? What if there is something I WANT to do about it?
I will no longer accept the fact that it is what it is should mean something. I'm going to at least try to change things that are in my control and let go of the things that aren't....kind of like eating the ice cream in my freezer...totally out of my control to ignore it... and that is what it is! LOL! LMAO! ROFL! smootch Queen... :)
Thoughts to ponder today...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Reflection of a decade...
HELLOOOO!!! Yes, it has been 5 months since I have last updated this blog. It has been a crazy few months to say the least. So many wonderful and very sad things have happened to me since September.
I lost 30 pounds, watched my first niece get married to an amazing man and start her life as a married woman, received incredible recognition for the last 2 years of hard work and success at my job, discussed the possibility of separation from my husband and lost my dad to cancer.....lost my dad, it makes me cry just to see the words. No matter what people say, there is NOTHING to prepare a person to lose both parents from their life. I am heartbroken, cry when no one is looking...a lot..., and spend so much time reflecting on the good times we had with them. My parents had a hard life. I often wonder if much of it was self-induced or just from absolute exhaustion, they gave up hoping for a better life.
I started this blog last year to give me a place to let out the crazy...my mind NEVER shuts off. I even sigh in my sleep because I am constantly thinking...this blog was to be a place for me to get it all out! So, I'm back. I need a place to let go of the crazy steel trap called my mind. Those people who know me well, know that I can recall every single detail, word, song, smell, etc.. Of past events. My mind is FULL of absolutely useless information. I can't remember what I ate for breakfast two hours ago, but I can tell you what I wore on the first day of school every year from Kindergarten to 12th grade. Its nuts! So, it's time for me to get back to letting it all out...well, I will try to use my filter, but there are no guarantees. This next year starts a whole new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to changing things up. Doing things I have never done before and being honest with myself first and foremost. I am going to focus on the positive things and people in my life and let the exhausting crap and people go...it's a new decade baby! I'm looking forward to my 40s but before I let my 30's go, it's time for some reflection on what has been my favorite decade of my life so far.
In my 30's.....
1. I grew up
2. I have grown to embrace my strong personality instead of apologizing for it
3. I gave birth to my the little girl who put all the sparkle back into my life
4. My circle of friends, while smaller, will be my friends for life
5. My career skyrocketed, not because of luck, but because I worked my ass off!
6. I gained financial stability and independence
7. I got a tattoo AND a belly button ring...WHAT was I thinking?!
8. I have the body I always wanted in my 20's
9. I became close to my sisters and brothers and am thankful for them every day!
10. I formed a beautiful relationship with my mother and grew to understand so much from her
11. I lost my mother when I was 35
12. I traveled to Ireland
13. I read hundreds of books!
14. I stopped apologizing for stupid shit
15. I learned that it is business not personal
16. I celebrated 13 years of marriage
17. I learned that our annual girls trip to Vegas is a necessity
18. I atteneded my 20th high school reunion and had a GREAT time! It seems everyone else grew up too...
19. I watched in terror and grief as our country was attacked on 9/11/01
20. I took incredible care of my skin so I can go into my 40's knowing I don't look 40!
There are so many more, but my mind is a jumble...
The good news for me, if for nobody else, is that I am back to blogging....thanks for the gentle reminder Queen. I love you and you will forever be my BFF!
I lost 30 pounds, watched my first niece get married to an amazing man and start her life as a married woman, received incredible recognition for the last 2 years of hard work and success at my job, discussed the possibility of separation from my husband and lost my dad to cancer.....lost my dad, it makes me cry just to see the words. No matter what people say, there is NOTHING to prepare a person to lose both parents from their life. I am heartbroken, cry when no one is looking...a lot..., and spend so much time reflecting on the good times we had with them. My parents had a hard life. I often wonder if much of it was self-induced or just from absolute exhaustion, they gave up hoping for a better life.
I started this blog last year to give me a place to let out the crazy...my mind NEVER shuts off. I even sigh in my sleep because I am constantly thinking...this blog was to be a place for me to get it all out! So, I'm back. I need a place to let go of the crazy steel trap called my mind. Those people who know me well, know that I can recall every single detail, word, song, smell, etc.. Of past events. My mind is FULL of absolutely useless information. I can't remember what I ate for breakfast two hours ago, but I can tell you what I wore on the first day of school every year from Kindergarten to 12th grade. Its nuts! So, it's time for me to get back to letting it all out...well, I will try to use my filter, but there are no guarantees. This next year starts a whole new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to changing things up. Doing things I have never done before and being honest with myself first and foremost. I am going to focus on the positive things and people in my life and let the exhausting crap and people go...it's a new decade baby! I'm looking forward to my 40s but before I let my 30's go, it's time for some reflection on what has been my favorite decade of my life so far.
In my 30's.....
1. I grew up
2. I have grown to embrace my strong personality instead of apologizing for it
3. I gave birth to my the little girl who put all the sparkle back into my life
4. My circle of friends, while smaller, will be my friends for life
5. My career skyrocketed, not because of luck, but because I worked my ass off!
6. I gained financial stability and independence
7. I got a tattoo AND a belly button ring...WHAT was I thinking?!
8. I have the body I always wanted in my 20's
9. I became close to my sisters and brothers and am thankful for them every day!
10. I formed a beautiful relationship with my mother and grew to understand so much from her
11. I lost my mother when I was 35
12. I traveled to Ireland
13. I read hundreds of books!
14. I stopped apologizing for stupid shit
15. I learned that it is business not personal
16. I celebrated 13 years of marriage
17. I learned that our annual girls trip to Vegas is a necessity
18. I atteneded my 20th high school reunion and had a GREAT time! It seems everyone else grew up too...
19. I watched in terror and grief as our country was attacked on 9/11/01
20. I took incredible care of my skin so I can go into my 40's knowing I don't look 40!
There are so many more, but my mind is a jumble...
The good news for me, if for nobody else, is that I am back to blogging....thanks for the gentle reminder Queen. I love you and you will forever be my BFF!
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