Some day...

Yes, I realize i have sucked at blogging the last few months. It isn't that I haven't wanted to put my thoughts down on "paper" or share with everyone. It's more like I can't pick just ONE thing to share. There is so much going on in my life right now, I can't focus. My head is like one of those spinners that comes in a children's game...however this spinner NEVER lands on a number telling me what to do next. ya know? It's getting worse with age too!

Anyhoo...I have a friend. A man I have known for so many years, I don't remember not knowing him. We met when we were 11 and in 5th grade. He lived down the street from me. We hung out together a lot. He was there for my first kiss...well, he was standing outside of the tree house at Fernando Zerrate's house when I had my first kiss. We hung out with the same group of people all through middle school, and most of high school. He is the reason my 8th grade boyfriend broke up with me (long story)...He was the guy that wanted to date me and I wanted to date him, but it was never the right time, it was always some day...He is the guy that I lost touch with for over 10 years and reconnected with while planning our 20 year reunion. When we started talking, it was as if no time had passed at all.


Have you ever met someone that knows EVERYONE? Who is ALWAYS positive and smiling? NEVER has a bad word to say about ANYBODY?  And not in a smarmy used car salesman way? Well, I have, it's this guy. He is amazing. You can be having the biggest crisis of your life and he will make you forget the reason you were upset. He is a cup filler like nobodies business. And he isn't full of shit. He is genuinely decent. Not an easy thing to find in people these days.

He has helped me through some tough things lately. Without judging or giving advice, he just listens and fills my cup. Gives me faith in people and life.

Here is the kicker. He is busy filling everyone's cup and he himself has cancer. He has survived pancreatic cancer twice in the last 8 years. I have no doubt it is due to his positive attitude and "bring it" attitude. 8 years longer than they gave him during his first diagnosis. He is a walking miracle. Well, 2 years ago, he got the news the cancer was back. Two days ago, I got an email from him telling me that the cancer has spread, aggressively. He has stopped treatments. He is tired and doesn't want to fight anymore. I'm reeling. It's always the good ones. LIFE IS SHORT!

I had coffee with him yesterday and talked for over two hours. Within 20 minutes, I forgot all of the shit going on in my life, and spent time enjoying my lifelong friend, who, of all things, isn't hurting from the cancer, but a broken heart (another long and personal story).

God puts people in your life at certain times. He put this man in my life this week because I am in the process of grieving a marriage and a friendship of 10 years with someone I thought I knew. He put this man in my life this week to make me see that LIFE IS SHORT! Don't waste your time on selfish people who, when you need them the most, bail without a thought or care about you.

He put this man in my life this week to fill my cup which has been empty way too long as the result of filling everybody but my own cup.

And I'll tell you what, if its done anything besides fill me up with grief at the thought that this man is going to die, it has redirected my focus, on my life, my friendships, and my family.

Thank you God for putting this man in my life almost 30 years ago, and again when we needed each other most.