Reflection of a decade...

HELLOOOO!!! Yes, it has been 5 months since I have last updated this blog. It has been a crazy few months to say the least. So many wonderful and very sad things have happened to me since September.

I lost 30 pounds, watched my first niece get married to an amazing man and start her life as a married woman, received incredible recognition for the last 2 years of hard work and success at my job, discussed the possibility of separation from my husband and lost my dad to cancer.....lost my dad, it makes me cry just to see the words. No matter what people say, there is NOTHING to prepare a person to lose both parents from their life. I am heartbroken, cry when no one is looking...a lot..., and spend so much time reflecting on the good times we had with them. My parents had a hard life. I often wonder if much of it was self-induced or just from absolute exhaustion, they gave up hoping for a better life.

I started this blog last year to give me a place to let out the crazy...my mind NEVER shuts off. I even sigh in my sleep because I am constantly thinking...this blog was to be a place for me to get it all out! So, I'm back. I need a place to let go of the crazy steel trap called my mind. Those people who know me well, know that I can recall every single detail, word, song, smell, etc.. Of past events. My mind is FULL of absolutely useless information. I can't remember what I ate for breakfast two hours ago, but I can tell you what I wore on the first day of school every year from Kindergarten to 12th grade. Its nuts! So, it's time for me to get back to letting it all out...well, I will try to use my filter, but there are no guarantees. This next year starts a whole new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to changing things up. Doing things I have never done before and being honest with myself first and foremost. I am going to focus on the positive things and people in my life and let the exhausting crap and people go...it's a new decade baby! I'm looking forward to my 40s but before I let my 30's go, it's time for some reflection on what has been my favorite decade of my life so far.

In my 30's.....

1. I grew up
2. I have grown to embrace my strong personality instead of apologizing for it
3. I gave birth to my the little girl who put all the sparkle back into my life
4. My circle of friends, while smaller, will be my friends for life
5. My career skyrocketed, not because of luck, but because I worked my ass off!
6. I gained financial stability and independence
7. I got a tattoo AND a belly button ring...WHAT was I thinking?!
8. I have the body I always wanted in my 20's
9. I became close to my sisters and brothers and am thankful for them every day!
10. I formed a beautiful relationship with my mother and grew to understand so much from her
11. I lost my mother when I was 35
12. I traveled to Ireland
13. I read hundreds of books!
14. I stopped apologizing for stupid shit
15. I learned that it is business not personal
16. I celebrated 13 years of marriage
17. I learned that our annual girls trip to Vegas is a necessity
18. I atteneded my 20th high school reunion and had a GREAT time! It seems everyone else grew up too...
19. I watched in terror and grief as our country was attacked on 9/11/01
20. I took incredible care of my skin so I can go into my 40's knowing I don't look 40!

There are so many more, but my mind is a jumble...
The good news for me, if for nobody else, is that I am back to blogging....thanks for the gentle reminder Queen. I love you and you will forever be my BFF!